Terre Haute

[paradisamods]

[Today, our intrepid explorers have finally made it to Terre Haute. It’s mostly grassland, and on the outskirts small spotted lions, about the size of leopards prowl around. They seem to be more interested in the strange antelope running around than in any people, however. Towards the edge, lies a cliff face, looking out to sea, on occasion giant whales can be seen breaching the water.

Of the weird thing they came to look for, in the distance is a cylindrical shape, lying on its side. But between them and it is a strange village. One made up of excessively tall wooden huts, all of which have electric lights, turned on, though how they’re creating such power is a mystery, they are still very much inside the dead zone.

The residents of this off little village are wandering around, going about their buisess. The residents being a group of bemused looking giraffes. Perhaps you will even see some familiar non-giraffe faces milling about.

Welcome to Terre Haute]

[[GRASSLANDS AND CLIFFS | TOWN SQUARE | JUICE BAR | DANCE HALL | THE ESCALATOR | MIRROR CONTROL ROOM ]]

Comments

[paradisamods]

That is classified information. You're simply not Giraffidae enough to be privy to such information.

[wilder]

[Damn, he was wondering how far he'd get]

Awww, not even a hint? C'mon! You're so smart aren't you? I'm sure you can explain without revealing secrets!

[paradisamods]

[The giraffe reaches out a long leg as if to measure Zelos' height, his legs make a strange squelchy sound as he does so]

No no no, look at you, with your stumpy little legs and short neck. You probably would not even be able to comprehend all of the information before your brain exploded.

[wilder]

[Dear god what is that sound? Not to mention, talk about insulting. Stumpy legs?! His legs are awesome thank you very much!]

[But oh right, gotta keep trying]

Hey now, I'm pretty darn smart for a human! Just give it a shot, and if my brain's about to explode I'll have the courtesy to do it outside. Won't even hold it against you!

[paradisamods]

Oh we simply cannot have any exploding today. It's a bad moon phase for such things. No, you shall simply have to remain curious forever. It's healthy for you anyway, curiosity.

[wilder]

Heh heh, well I wouldn't want to explode on a bad moon phase I guess! [damn]

But alright, I can see you're a wise giraffe. I'll relent- but is it okay if I watch for a bit?

[paradisamods]

No one ever wants to explode on a bad moon phase. The implications would be catastrophic. Catastrophic. Almost as catastrophic as stepping near- [he pales] oh gosh, I can hardly bear to think about it. As stepping near a ladder.

[Then, suddenly, he is cheery again] Of course you may! Watch the wonders of our work!

[wilder]

What? You don't like ladders?

Okay, great! [Maybe he can figure it out on his own, assholes]

[paradisamods]

Ladders are the worst things in the world! They contain so much bad luck. Oh no...no no. No we shan't have talk of ladders here.

[He'll go back to flicking switches and hitting buttons, messing with people's lives because that's how giraffes roll]

1/2

[wilder]

Haha, alright alright I get it. No more talk of ladders. Promise.

[Instead I'll put them around your hut you douche. But he'll go into quiet observation mode!]

[wilder]

[And let's say, oh after ten minutes or so he'll rub his chin. He's definitely seen some castle residents now. And is so trying to formulate his own theories]

...Is this about people's insecurities and desires?

[paradisamods]

[Zelos you are supposed to be am ambassador here. The giraffe continues to work away]

That sounds like theorising to me. We have a clear no theorising rule.

[He points to a wooden sign on the wall that in big red letters states: NO THEORISING HERE]

[wilder]

What?!

Oh c'mon! Now you're just being unfair

[paradisamods]

Now being unfair would to ask you to leave. Or perhaps making you wear a false moustache. This isn't unfair at all, by those standards.

[wilder]

[ ! ]

Do you have a false mustache to make me wear?

[paradisamods]

We do! They serve as punishment for those to commit crimes.

[He is being utterly serious here]

[wilder]

[..............]

You know, I don't know what I was expecting.

[a sigh, so much for that theory. He'll try a different angle]

So who are the Irish?

[paradisamods]

And now you know, isn't knowledge fun?!

[The giraffe considers his answer]

They are people from Ireland.

[wilder]

Sure, when you share it.

[Ireland...oh! That's one of the countries Elizabeth rules!]

Yeah? Is there a group of them somewhere hear doing your job?

[paradisamods]

Knowledge is something gained. Not shared. It's not a bag of apples, you know.

They do half. [HELPFUL]

[wilder]

What? Don't you guys have books or schools? Because I'm pretty sure their point is to share knowledge.

Half, right. Where are they at? [CAN I TALK TO THEM INSTEAD?]

[paradisamods]

We get all the information we need in our spots. [Idiot]

They're in Ireland.

[wilder]

And nowhere else? You don't...try to learn more? [This guy is a brainwashed moron isn't he?]

Uh...isn't Ireland on another planet?

[paradisamods]

Our leaders provide us with all the information we need! We even know about incoming movies! It sure is swell to have patches. You patch-less people must be so unfortunate.

It's in Ireland.

[wilder]

Leaders? Who are they? And what are patches?

[................A COUNTRY CAN"T BE IN A COUNTRY]

...R-right.